Guest Post: A Former Student's Perspective on Homosexuality and the Church

I was contacted this week by a former student. I was priveleged to have this student in several classes during his years at OCC and we have remained in contact since his graduation. I have known about and we have talked about his struggles with homosexuality. He asked me if I would be willing to post his comments annonymously on my blog, and I agreed. I think that it is good, given the heat generated on social media this week, to hear from someone for whom this issue isn't abract or impersonal. He is a committed follower of Christ and passionate for the word of God and for holiness who also happens to struggle with homosexuality. I'm sure he isn't alone. I value his perspective. I also think it is appropriate to post this today - on Good Friday - a day we remember and celebrate each year as the day that all of our sins were atoned for by the blood of Jesus Christ. I offer his comments here without any further commentary.



I'm a graduate from OCC. I graduated in 2009 and since my graduation, I have been hired to lead two ministries and have started working on a Master's Degree in Christian Education.

Did I mention that I used to be involved with homosexuality?

Don't worry. This isn't a post where I am going to lay out an argument that the church need to change its stance on homosexuality because I know that is not God's will as laid out in Scripture. But what I want do to is tell you about my struggles with homosexuality and my life as a ministry leader. Before you post another rant on Facebook about the gay agenda or preach another sermon about homosexuality, I want you think about what you really believe about the sin.

 

Upon graduating college, I went on a search for a ministry position with great references. I was flown all over the country for interviews and was asked about my testimony. I was honest about my testimony. I let them know about my past and how I know I am forgiven that it is not a life I long to live. I long to serve Jesus Christ. That didn't matter. Instead, after giving my testimony, I would be asked questions like:

 

"Have you ever had any sexual contact with a child?" or "If we hire you, could you be able to keep that under wraps so as to not cause problems for our members?"

Eventually, I got hired but by churches that didn't ask for my testimony. When I did talk about my past, I would be told to not tell anybody unless I would risk being fired.

 

I hate that when I go to my local Target and see pictures of either a woman in her underwear or a man in his underwear, I have to look away from the man to fight the urge to lust. It's embarrassing and it's a constant reminder of my past. It's a struggle I have but for some reason, I can't talk about that struggle but we are okay with hearing about another person's struggle with alcohol or drugs or even heterosexual lust.

 

This week everybody is talking about gay marriage. Sadly, what will happen is the same: a preacher will talk about the Bible's views on homosexuality and then point out 1 Corinthians 5 in which Paul writes that the misdeeds are what we "were". Then the preacher will explain a homosexual can leave their life and that they weren't born that way.

 

I agree with this to an extent. I wasn't born to give my life to sin. I can't help the temptations, but I refrain from pursuing their desires, as difficult as it can be at times. But what breaks my heart is that even though this is what we preach, it is clearly not what we practice. As ministry leaders, we would rather the sin be murder than homosexuality.

 

I don't write this as a hate-filled argument for churches. My intent is for some mirror-holding. I hear your sermons. I see your Facebook posts. Yet, what is said in a pulpit isn't really lived out.

As a leader, would you hire a person who is redeemed from the life of homosexuality? What is your excuse to not do so?

 

On a final note, why the silence? Why not let leaders who struggle with homosexuality (I know I'm not the only one) speak out? Wouldn't they be an excellent testimony?